Care and Feeding of a Mate
Part 4: Rational Mates
By Dr. Lovegood
Rational men aren't particularly interested in typical gender roles. Their masculinity is
not threatened by a partner who does yard work, car repairs, or extreme sports. Often women
find it hard to communicate their wants to their Rational mates. The key is direct, calm
statements. Rational men are often oblivious to hints, and both of you will be happier if
you communicate in plain English.
Like Rational men, Rational women are often perfectly happy playing the hard-charging
corporate player to their mate's more domestic lifestyle. Because women are socialized
differently from men, Rational women are much more likely than their male counterparts
to catch hints and indirect communication. However, they still prefer clear statements.
Rationals tend to be the easiest on upkeep. Their wants tend to be few, and they
generally place few demands on their mates. In fact, one of the biggest complaints about
Rationals is that they are too independent and at times seem to neither want nor need
anyone else. At times, most mates of Rationals wonder why the Rational wanted a
relationship at all.
Sometimes Rationals can seem so self-reliant that a mate can wonder if they really
have anything to offer. This tends to occur when the Rational is afraid of being openly
vulnerable. They can maintain a façade of autonomy to hide how they really feel. However,
they usually enter relationships precisely because they really do need other people.
The key to keeping your Rational happy is to provide support and a listening ear
while not demanding too much. Offering shared activities including sports, sex, music
and the like are also likely to be appreciated.
One thing virtually all Rationals need is time. They need uninterrupted time to work
on whatever project has caught their mental eye. It is not uncommon for them to work until
they drop, get a few hours of shut-eye, and then get up and keep working. This can go on
for days, with the Rational surfacing periodically for food and family activities. During
this time, they are likely to appreciate someone to bounce a few ideas off of. The best
way a mate can help is to listen, keep them from being interrupted, and remind them of
important commitments coming up.
An important thing to remember is that most Rationals are disgusted by emotional
outbursts. A mate who cries, pleads, begs, yells, and throws things is very likely to
cause the Rational to withdraw even more. A Rational can talk about almost anything if
it is discussed in a logical, emotionally neutral way.
Another thing Rationals need is someone to listen and respond intelligently to them.
This can be difficult if they are talking way beyond you. Ask questions so you can
understand the background of what they're talking about. Sometimes they forget that
the other person doesn't have all of the background knowledge that they do. Sometimes
they may discuss things which turn out to be difficulties in relating to other people.
This has to be handled very delicately. You can give opinions in a calm way but not
The bottom line with Rationals is to give them a lot of autonomy and intelligent
conversation. Remember that they really do need you. Support your mate and they'll
give you mental stimulation, freedom, and visions of the future.