Parenting and Temperament
By Dr. Lovegood
Idealist parents are a lot less common than Guardian and Artisan parents. The
stereotypes of Idealist parents could often be one of the other temperaments - the
artsy type, the flake, the nurturer, the believe-in-you-no-matter-what type, the
emotional blackmailer and so on. An Idealist's desire for intuitive introspection can
be incomprehensible to many Guardians, annoying to Artisans, and an invasion of privacy
Idealist parents are generally the best of all parents at finding and encouraging
their children's unique abilities. While many parents are good at encouraging their
children, Idealists are especially gifted in figuring out what to nurture and encourage.
They are also the most likely to be able to 'read' their children's minds and have a good
idea of what is going on inside each of their children. This can lead to trouble since
they will at times 'read' incorrectly and then react based on what they think is happening.
This can be avoided by talking to the child to confirm or modify an intuition before
acting on it. A person fortunate enough to be brought up in a mature Idealist's home
generally has a strong sense of who they really are, a validation of themselves and
their dreams, and an emotional sensitivity to others.
Some of the potential problems for Idealist parents include excessive emotionalism
and discipline which is loose or inconsistent. They may take their child's problems too
personally and react too strongly, perhaps trying to solve their child's problems for
them. Discipline is a tough issue for Idealists because they want to treat each child
individually. They can have a hard time knowing if a particular excuse is valid and are
likely to let their children get away with quite a bit since they want to avoid being
Here are some tips on how to communicate effectively with your Idealist parent.
Avoid values conflicts. Try to fit what you are wanting or needing in terms of your
parent's values. If you fight with them on their values, you'll lose the battle and the
war. Remember, they have had a lot more time than you have to develop their beliefs.
They have good reasons for their values (maybe some bad ones too). Find and respect
The thing that makes an Idealist parent the happiest is when their children open up
and talk to them about their most important beliefs, ideas, dreams, values, etc. Sharing
intimately with your parent is the easiest way to communicate effectively with them. You
can then ask for almost anything and get it, especially if you can show how what you are
asking for will cause you to develop as a person.