The Dating Scene
Vignette 9: Traci, an Idealist Champion (ENFP)
By Dr. Lovegood
Traci is a 23 year old Idealist Champion (ENFP). She used to have problems with men thinking she was more interested
in them than she really was. That was because of her tendency to give them her complete vibrant attention when they
talked to her. She's learned how to listen politely without staring and what kind of responses to give appropriate to
the interest she actually has.
She's the manager of a neighborhood postal store. Her shop is consistently busy and she loves helping people and
hearing their stories about why they are mailing/copying things. The paperwork drives her nuts, but she is fortunate
to have an assistant who loves dotting every 'i' and crossing every 't.' They have worked out a system that's easy enough
for Traci to follow most of the time and makes the assistant's job much easier.
Traci has done a fair amount of dating. She hasn't done as much as she could because she has wanted to avoid leading
men on. She has very high standards and refuses to compromise. In spite of that, she has usually had men interested in her.
Traci is active in her church and works with the pre-schooolers. Her church doesn't have very many singles, so she goes to
a singles group at another church.
There are two men she is interested in. One is the son of the owner of the store she works at. The other is a man in
the singles group. She's gone out on a couple of casual dates with both men, but now she's in a pickle. Both of them have
expressed interest in taking the relationship to a deeper level. Both of these men are more appealing than any man she's
ever dated before. She doesn't want to let them go and risk never meeting anyone as good. Also, she really wants to start
a family before she is 30 and wants to be married two years before getting pregnant. If she wants to stick with these ideals,
she'd need to get married within the next three years.
The son of the owner is named Hiroshi. He's 31 and works as an appraiser. He says he couldn't stand being tied down to a
desk. He laughs a lot, is very funny, and can be really romantic. Traci and Hiroshi enjoy going to the gym together. They will
sometimes compete with each other on one machine or another. Hiroshi has told her that he has had many girlfriends but he's never
met anyone like her. He regularly attends a church which is a different denomination from Traci's but not too different.
Eric is the man from the singles group. He is 29 and an engineer. When he talks about his work, Traci often doesn't understand
much of what he says, but she's impressed by his dedication to his job. Eric is quiet and sometimes awkward. He says that he's
only had a couple of girlfriends because he's never met anyone before who was what he's been looking for. Traci and Eric often
spend time sitting in a coffee shop or walking while shooting the breeze. Traci loves to tease Eric who seems to enjoy it as much
as she does. He's been loosening up.
Traci really likes them both. She likes Hiroshi being outgoing and she likes Eric being shy. She loves competing with Hiroshi
and talking about abstract concepts with Eric. She worries that Hiroshi will lose interest in her since he's had so many girlfriends
and she worries that Eric hasn't had enough experience with women to make a good choice. She can't figure out how she can equally
like two completely opposite men.
What do you think she should do? Do you know or are you an Idealist Champion and can you give information about how other
Champions have dealt with the dating game?