What famous father does yours resemble? Is your father like George H.W. Bush, dependable, consistent, and rule-enforcing? Perhaps your dad is more like John F. Kennedy or Teddy Roosevelt who were laid-back and encouraged risk-taking or like Martin Luther King, Jr., who was a father who wanted to make a better world for his children. Or finally, your father might be like Bill Gates who limits his children's time on computers and other media to foster their thinking skills and creativity.

For some, Father's Day is a time to celebrate the good relationship they have with their fathers. Others, who have absent fathers or fathers who hurt them deeply, find Father's Day difficult. Some people have mixed feelings about their dads but would like to know how to show appreciation for them. This article can help you understand how your father operates and how to get along with him better.

Fathers come in four different temperaments. These temperaments differ greatly in how they do things and what they want to accomplish in parenting. The most common kind of father in the United States is the Guardian. Guardians work hard to provide for their families. They tend to be fiscally conservative. They often motivate themselves to higher achievement by telling themselves to keep improving and never let up. Their goal in parenting is to raise children who know their place in society and are contributing citizens.

Maddi's father, Patrick, is a Guardian who pushed her hard to get good grades in school. No matter what she accomplished, he was always sure she could do even better. She felt that he never really approved of her. Maddi really wanted a father who would get to know her personally, but that simply wasn't on her dad's agenda. For years, she was very angry with him. She finally realized that she was never going to get what she wanted, and she wanted to learn how to appreciate what he did do for her. She discovered that Patrick showed love in a very different way from her way. She finally realized that he was saying he loved her and even respected her when he had saved money for her to go to college, when he had cosigned the loan when she bought her first house, when he'd arranged "accidental" hand-me-downs just when she needed them, and when he saved money for her own children to go to college. Her feelings towards her father changed, and she found it much easier to sincerely appreciate and praise him.

The second most common kind of father is the Artisan. Artisans live in the moment, enjoying life to the fullest right now. They tend to believe that everything will work out in the end and are less prone to worry than most other temperaments. Artisans are flexible and love spontaneity, excitement and surprises. Artisan fathers are likely to push their children physically to help them toughen up. Their goal in parenting is to have fun with their children and to raise courageous adults.

Matthew found his Artisan father, Mick, exasperating. When Matthew wanted to plan ahead and finish work early, his father told him not to worry, that he had plenty of time. Matthew hated having to rely on his father since he knew he'd have to wait until the last minute for everything. Whenever he and Mick played sports, his father was always determined to beat him and wouldn't hesitate to occasionally use what Matthew thought were some underhanded moves. His father never seemed serious and was always pulling pranks that annoyed him. Matthew was glad to move out of the house and make a nice, quiet home for himself. When Matthew learned about temperament, he spotted his dad immediately. He began to realize that his father had done a lot of things right. Mick had supported Matthew and shown faith in him in many different situations. He had helped his son become physically fit. He had encouraged him to take risks when Matthew was afraid and was there to help him whatever happened. Eventually, Matthew got a friend to teach him a couple of martial arts moves. The next time he visited home, his dad started wrestling with him as usual. Matthew used one of the moves and knocked his dad over. His father was thrilled. Matthew had done something unexpected and beaten him.

The third most common type of father is the Idealist. These fathers tend to be the most nurturing. They are the most likely to be in tune with their children. They are usually good at manipulating, generally with good motives. Idealists view parenting as a chance to help a child find out who s/he really is. They want to raise children who know themselves and use their gifts.

Jay felt embarrassed by his Idealist father, David. David is an artist, working with oils and bronze castings. Jay didn't like the way David would wander around in the most bizarre clothing (David said it helped him think outside the box). When Jay brought his friends to the house, David would sometimes come in and join the conversation and practically take his friends from him. Jay's friends usually thought his dad was pretty cool although they almost always commented that he was a little "weird" (which really embarrassed Jay). David could cry at the drop of a hat which made Jay very uncomfortable. As Jay got older, he realized that his father wasn't so bad. David had supported and encouraged every harebrained idea Jay ever had and never made him feel stupid. He had offered a lot of emotional support but had tactfully withdrawn any time Jay made it clear he wanted to solve the problem on his own. David had spent a lot of time playing with Jay when he was younger. He had also let Jay in his art studio and given him his own projects to do but wasn't disappointed when Jay said that art wasn't his thing. Jay still can't handle the crying, but David's clothing and schmoozing with all of Jay's friends is now something that's funny and not embarrassing.

The least common type of father is the Rational. Rational fathers want their children to become independent thinkers who can logically explain their point of view. Rational fathers may be somewhat remote emotionally, but they are usually good at talking to their children seriously as equals. They like to excite their child's imagination, and they encourage a life-long love of learning.

Suzanne felt inadequate in her father, James', eyes. James was highly intelligent and could cogently argue on almost any topic. No matter what she argued, she couldn't seem to beat him. It also irritated her that he was so arrogant and certain of his own abilities. He wasn't emotionally supportive, and she wondered if he really did care for her. After learning about Rationals, Suzanne realized that James had done a great job of encouraging her to choose whatever career she wanted even if it wasn't a career women were supposed to want. He had constantly sharpened her thinking with games, discussions, puzzles, and humor. She could hold her own with just about anyone except James. As Suzanne learned about Rationals, she realized that her father had spent all that time with her teaching her logic and other things because he felt that she was worth the investment. Her father's way of showing love for her was to train her for more achievement. James recently told her that his boss had bragged about his son and James had said that Suzanne could take his son any day of the week. Suzanne realized that was high praise and evidence of her father's love.

Hopefully you recognize your father in one of these descriptions and can identify some positive impacts he has had in your life. Perhaps understanding your father better can help smooth some rough edges in your relationship with him. May you and your dad have a satisfying Father's Day!

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