"Our relationship would be so much better if only she was more like me..." How many times have you heard this sad lament from a friend or relative bemoaning their current (usually temporary) relationship woes? "We would be so much happier if he understood me better - he'd know just what to do or say without needing to be told...", are grumblings we've often overheard. In other words, people are saying a partner just like them would effectively read their mind and be the perfect mate.

Not only doesn't that happen, if it did most people would be bored and lose interest in the partner fairly early in the relationship.

Most of us end up in a relationship with a partner of a different temperament than ourselves. This is due both to statistics (even though Artisans are the second most prevalent temperament , they still only make up 30-35% the population), and to our own temperament - we often look for people that bring new interests and excitement to our lives , and this means people that approach life differently than ourselves. As an Artisan, your partner may be another Artisan, but odds are they are a Guardian, an Idealist, or a Rational. Here are a few pointers on taking the differences between you and your partner into account, and making the most of them in your quest for relationship bliss.

Guardians can be the most complementary of the other temperaments to Artisans. Guardians are often initially drawn to Artisans because of their zest for life, their cool in crisis, and their easy acceptance of many different kinds of people. Artisans can be drawn to Guardians because of their planning ahead, their organization, and their hard work on behalf of those they love. If your partner is a Guardian:

• You bring spontaneity and fun to the relationship. Guardians like to plan ahead, and always consider any ramifications before taking action. So, although your partner appreciates you for your Carpe diemi> attitude toward life, they'll also be generally happier if you give them advance warning most of the time and allow them to plan any logistics ahead of time.
• You are much less concerned about saving for a rainy day than they are - whereas most Artisans believe you should live for today and enjoy things while you can, most Guardians believe in delayed gratification because you never know what disaster looms ahead that will require the resources you have set aside to get through them. Be sensitive to this need, and appreciate the fact that they are planning for your old age when they protest a splurge you really, really, want to do for the fun of it.
• Being on time is important to most Guardians, they abhor being late. You probably don't spend much time worrying about punctuality. This is one of the classic conflicts with Artisan / Guardian pairs, and one of the hardest areas for either of you to change. In some cases, it may make sense for your Guardian partner to just go on ahead (and be on time), and you get there on your own schedule.

Artisans and Rationals often make good pairs. These relationships are likely to be irreverent and action-packed as both types are usually equally willing to ignore convention and be focused on results. Rationals can be fascinated by Artisans' aptitude for fun, improvisation, and spontaneity. Artisans are often impressed by Rationals' theoretical approach to problems, because it is so different from their own view of things. If your partner is a Rational:

• It may seem like your Rational partner often doesn't get the joke - that is, they'll take what you might be saying in jest quite seriously before realizing you're having fun. Rationals tend to see everything in the "big picture", and look for purpose whereas you may be just living in the moment. Don't get frustrated, just clue them in. Help them be in the moment, let go of the outcome, and enjoy just being together.
• Rationals tend to like to spend a lot more time than most Artisans exploring abstract ideas and contemplating the origins of the Universe. You are much more concrete than your abstract-leaning partner. The attention you give them when they are discussing their big ideas will be much appreciated, but it probably makes sense to encourage them to spend some time with other Rationals on a regular basis to get their fill of abstract discussions.
• Help your Rational partner to be romantic. Of all the temperaments, they are the least sentimental, so marking important dates (such as birthdays, anniversaries, etc) on calendars where they will not miss them will help keep them from letting you down on these occasions. Rationals do tend to love surprises as much as you do, but are less likely to think of creating them on their own. The good news is, they can usually take a hint (or two) and with encouragement can learn to show their romantic, fun loving side.

Idealists may be the most opposite of the other temperaments to Artisans. While you are concrete in your communication and utilitarian in your actions, Idealists live in the world of potential, and are more concerned with harmony and avoiding conflict than achieving the tactical results that drive you. Idealists are often initially drawn to Artisans because of their zest for life, spontaneity, sensuality, and sense of being in the present. Artisans can be drawn to Idealists by their sensitivity, empathy for others, and sincere interest in others' success. On the other hand, the Idealists' never ending interest in exploring and discussing their own, and your inner lives can bore you after a while. If your partner is an Idealist:

• Most Artisans love competition, and the most trivial of activities can become a game or contest to 'win'. Most Idealists tend to avoid competition, and are more focused on harmony, self-actualization and win-win activities. If you can frame your competitions as the two of you working to beat some abstract goal, rather than other people, your Idealist partner is more likely to enjoy the activity.
• What Idealists want the most is someone to listen to what they have to say and sympathize or empathize without passing judgment or offering advice unless they ask for it. This runs counter to your competitive and utilitarian nature - you will need to train yourself to bite your tongue and not offer solutions (or blame) to your partner's problems in these situations (unless they ask).
• Your Idealist partner is probably quite a romantic at heart - and their greatest romantic need is soul sharing. This means giving them your complete and undivided attention, with lots of eye contact. In terms of gift giving, you can best show them your love with gifts that have unique meaning to them, especially if you put a lot of thought and effort into making or obtaining it. A hand-written card with a heart-felt message can go a long way in making them feel loved and appreciated.

If your partner really were just like you, life would be very boring indeed. So, celebrate the differences that add spice, understand the ones that would otherwise frustrate you, and let your relationship thrive. Vive la difference!