Personality Test
George Washington - Guardian Supervisor (ESTJ) Mother Teresa - Guardian Protector (ISFJ) Albert Einstein - Rational Architect (INTP) Margaret Thatcher - Rational Fieldmarshal (ENTJ) Mikhail Gorbachev - Idealist Teacher (ENFJ) Eleanor Roosevelt - Idealist Counselor (INFJ) Elvis Presley - Artisan Performer (ESFP) Jacqueline Onasis - Artisan Composer (ISFP) Dolley Madison - Guardian Provider (ESFJ) Queen Victoria - Guardian Inspector (ISTJ) Walt Disney - Rational Inventor (ENTP) Dwight David Eisenhower - Rational Mastermind (INTJ) Thomas Paine - Idealist Champion (ENFP) Princess Diana - Idealist Healer (INFP) Charles Lindberg - Artisan Crafter (ISTP) George S. Patton - Artisan Promoter (ESTP)
How To (Not) Annoy Your Partner
Part 2: You're an Artisan
By Dr. Lovegood

Annoying Artisan Many of our natural behaviors can end up annoying our partners when performed in the wrong time and place. Learning when and where to adjust our behavior can improve our relationships without becoming someone different.

As an Artisan, you have a natural flexibility and tolerance along with a "live and let live" attitude. Fun and excitement are your game.

If your partner is a Guardian, they are much more concerned with doing things the right way and avoiding problems with careful planning. You are likely to annoy them if you:

  • Ignore or sabotage their routines and procedures.
  • Can never have a serious discussion about important issues.
  • Expect them to be as flexible as you are.
  • Often do things on your own without checking in with them first.

If your partner is a Rational, you are both pragmatic. You are focused on what will work right now, and Rationals focus on what will work in the overall scheme. While Rationals do appreciate Artisan high jinks and fun, they don't like to be distracted when they are in the middle of a project. You are likely to annoy them if you:

  • Make too many changes in their living conditions, food, clothes, etc.
  • Are so focused on the present that you can't see the implications of their great ideas.
  • Try to get them out of their heads and into the real world.
  • Bombard them with too many concrete details.

If your partner is an Idealist, you probably have found that they are capable of deep thinking and unexpected insights into others and yourself. Idealists are more sensitive to criticism than the other types, and don't bounce back as quickly. You are likely to annoy them if you:

  • Try to get their heads out of the clouds and their feet on the ground.
  • Treat them as gullible, easily influenced, and perhaps simple-minded.
  • Ignore their visions of how to make life better for the people around you.
  • Dismiss them as not facing up to unpleasant realities.

If your partner is also an Artisan, you can still easily annoy each other. Each partner may want to act like the irresponsible playful child at the same time, leaving no one to take care of things like chores, bills, and the like. Since Artisans like to leave options open, you may find it difficult to make decisions as a couple.

Roma is an Artisan, and her partner is a Guardian. She had begun to think that he was nothing but a big party pooper. Every time she'd come home with a great idea, he'd say no or he needed to think about it. That squashed her enthusiasm. She's learned that Guardians need time to transition from one activity to the next. She waits for the right time to talk to him and then gives him a chance to think it through. Of course, it's obvious to her from the beginning that the idea was fantastic. Now that Roma gives him time, his enthusiasm has started to match hers, and he comes up with his own ideas to make it even better. He doesn't always get on her bandwagon, but he does often enough to keep her life exciting.

Kaleigh is an Artisan married to a Rational. She admires his intellect, but he spends all of his free time on the computer on his own project. He doesn't even get paid for it. Kaleigh has tried everything she can to get his attention and is tired of being left out. One time she even stripped in front of him while he was on the computer and began massaging him. He irritatedly pushed her away, saying he was busy. Kaleigh has figured out that her best chances are before he gets on the computer or after she repeatedly asks him when he's getting off. He's also agreed to one night a week of no computer which gives her his undivided attention. They take turns "hosting" the night, and he's come up with some unique and romantic ideas.

Bronson, an Artisan, has an Idealist partner. He likes her belief in just about everyone, and her willingness to give everyone a chance. However, he feels that he is a much better judge of character since she assumes the best of people. He's realistic enough to know that some people are simply out to get you. She's always bringing people to him that she wants him to hire. Bronson has agreed reluctantly, but one of the people made off with $5000 before being caught. Then they had a long talk about how each of them assesses people and found that each of them is gifted in figuring out people's motives. She has some holes in her abilities and he has some holes in his. Over time, they've been able to work together to spot people who are likely to rehabilitate well and avoid the con artists.

Rafe and his partner are both Artisans. They've enjoyed an easygoing, fun partnership. Over time, as their responsibilities and activities have increased, they are finding that certain tasks aren't getting done. Each has assumed that the other would take care of particular bills, RSVPing for weddings, and so on. This has caused a lot of frustration. Finally, they sat down and worked out who is responsible for what. Rafe finds this amusing because they'd always sworn they would never use lists, but now they can see the value. Of course, being Artisans, the list is very flexible. They often trade chores and leave some undone when the price isn't too high.

Understanding how your partner operates and making some adjustments in your own style can make life run more smoothly for both partners and leave them with a more positive attitude toward one another.

 

Temperament and Love

Dating
The Dating Scene
First Date
Temperamental Love
Do Opposites Attract?
Birds of a Feather
Complementary Pairs (1)
Complementary Pairs (2)

Mating
Women and Romance
Men and Romance
Marrying the Mirror
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
That Lovin' Feeling
Care and Feeding
How You Annoy Your Partner
Guardians *
Artisans *
Idealists *
Rationals *
Fair Fighting (1)
Fair Fighting (2)
How to Argue With A...
Temperamental Parenting
My Funny Valentine

Separating
Four Ways to Leave Your...
Affairs

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